Kristen’s Bad Day — Okay, so on top of the ongoing Technorati frustration, which at this point is actually getting to be a little funny because it’s so ridiculously not happening, and on top of the fact that I’ve been feeling like crap the last two days, and on top of the fact that I got whistled at in the Food Lion parking lot by a Fredneck (Um, because yeah, I really want to come get in your old rusted-out pick-up truck. Are you going to move the dog and the shotgun first, or do I just sit in the back?), and on top of the fact that I have somehow lost or otherwise deleted a dozen critical files and/or folders, I just walked into my bedroom to find that it is INFESTED WITH ANTS. They weren’t there earlier, but man, they are now.

First they were in the kitchen.

Then they were in the candy dish in the living room.

Then they were in the fruit bowl in the dining room table.

Then they were in the office.

NOW, despite the fact that we have Home-Defensensed every square inch of the foundation, baseboards, and walls in the house within a foot of the ground repeatedly, they have somehow managed to get UP THE FRONT OF MY HOUSE AND IN THROUGH THE WINDOW IN THE CLOSET OF MY BEDROOM. (Yes, there is a window in my closet. A full-size window. And no, it’s not a walk-in. My theory is that the guy who designed the house forgot to put a closet in the bedroom and was like, “Crap, the only place for a closet is in front of that window! Oh well.”)

Oh, and that’s not all. Once they conquered the two-story climb and made it past my shoes, no small feat when you’re only 1/16″ big, they made a beeline (antline?) for the sink in my bedroom. (Yes, there’s a sink in my bedroom. There’s one in the office, too, but not in the bathroom. My theory is that they guy who designed the house forgot to leave enough room for a real bathroom and did some damage control. I’m not a big fan of the guy who designed the house.) So now my entire sink, counter, and PLACE WHERE I KEEP MY TOOTHBRUSH are crawling with ants. And my husband is sealing the deck right now and can’t help me, so THEY’RE STILL THERE.

Can I have a do-over? Seriously, can I just do today over? That would be great. At least I have The New Yorker


P.S. When I spell-checked this post, I was delighted to find that “Fredneck” is already an acceptable term in the Google spell check dictionary. Nice.

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6 comments… add one
  • Aug 17, 2006

    Try a mixture of sugar and Borax powder. This has worked well for me. The like the sugar but end up taking plenty of Borax back to the nest as well, killing it at the source. Works better than any commercial ant trap you can buy. You can put this powder mixture inside where they crawl, or outside near the nest. (Don’t put it directly on the lawn, though, it kills all plant life.)
    To Love, Honor and Dismay

  • Aug 17, 2006

    Andrew, you rock. Thanks.


  • Aug 18, 2006

    Just wanted to say I’m enjoying your blog. There’s not enough humour in the world, but you’re certainly adding to it. (Unwillingly, in the case of Technorati, but that’s funny because it’s not happening to me … yet.)

  • Aug 18, 2006

    Andrew’s right. I was told not to use it because I have cats, but if you don’t have cats or dogs, or it’s somewhere that they can’t reach, it’s the best.

    I’d also call the Orkin man or the Terminex man, too, just to be safe.

  • Aug 18, 2006

    Those sound like Pharoah ants, which have been really active in my house these past couple of weeks, too. They take a long time to get rid of. Drax is the best stuff to use; I order it online at (best price and reasonable shipping charges). Use both the protein and the sugar, and be patient and persistent. Spraying with regular ant spray just makes them branch out and form more nests. Good luck!

  • Aug 18, 2006

    I’m not actually spraying the ants, just the places where the ants come in after I KILL THE LITTLE INTRUDERS. We’ve only sprayed the house itself, not any nests. Will that still cause them to spread? Can you see me shuddering??? And I’m all the way in my mom’s ant-free house in NJ right now!


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