Oh, Ivan, you sweet talker

www.inkthinkerblog.com — As a follow-up to yesterday’s post “How do these people find me?” (which, in retrospect, should have been called “Why do these people harass me?”), I thought I’d share a little update on “Ivan” and his reply to my message. After informing me that I had “flamed” him and that suggesting that next time I “better be polite than and have manners with respect,” Ivan observed, “you sound desparate and you are not getting enough.” So wait, what that an example of manners and respect? Or was it sending the still poorly spelled, capitalized, and punctuated personal attack marked as urgent and requesting a read receipt? I’m not sure. Jeez, if I’m so dumb that I can’t figure that out, I have to “feel sorry for the people who work for [me],” too.

Tip: If someone calls you out on not reading the guidelines, which explicitly contain all of the information you asked for repeatedly even after being directed to the guidelines, responding in the manner of Ivan makes it look like (a) you’re embarrassed that you were such an idiot as to have multiple opportunities to read the guidelines and still didn’t and now you’re mad because you feel stupid, or (b) you’re illiterate to the point that reading the guidelines repeatedly made absolutely no impression. Just read the guidelines and move forward, or count it as a learning experience and move on.

Being blacklisted at Notes in the Margin isn’t going to make a huge impact on most writer’s careers, but hey, you never know. The newsletter editor you attack today could be editor-in-chief of the New Yorker in five years, and may have a great memory–and a lot of editor friends.
Finalist in 2006 Writer’s Digest Best Writer’s Website Contest

Contents Copyright © 2006-2014 Kristen King

7 comments… add one
  • Aug 14, 2006

    The NEW YORKER should get lucky enough to hire you!

    This Ivan guy is just an unprofessional s—.

    Excommunicte him from your universe.

  • Aug 14, 2006

    Obviously it would be incredibly unprofessional to tell this guy what I really think (which has been heavily edited for the blog, btw), but I’m very tempted to write my response and enter it in the Renegade Writer “Rejection Letter You’d Love to Send” contest. :]

  • Aug 15, 2006

    Oh, but you MUST post here what you’d tell him, if only just for our fun. :))

    He was completely out of line, which proves he’s not only unprofessional, but not worth wasting time on. Begone, Ivan and your ilk!

  • Aug 17, 2006

    Oh my gosh, Kristen, I burst out laughing when I saw that obviously the fact that you require someone who 1) writes about your subject matter and 2)writes following standard English grammar only indicates that you aren’t getting any. Having professional stanards is so clearly linked to a lack of sexual fulfillment that it’s a amazing there haven’t been New England Journal of Medicine articles on it. I wonder what vindictiveness he saves for people who have the effontry to tell him his shoe lace is untied, he has spinach in his teeth, or his fly is down?? Thank you for sharing – and I only hope you laughed out loud instead of feeling your blood boil at his juvenile response.

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