Please return seats and tray tables to their upright and locked position — Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We’re experiencing some turbulence as we attempt to enter Technorati airspace, so we’re going to need to make some changes to our flight plan to get things worked out. If you happen to notice your sidebar blinking on and off or any spontaneous template changes, simply tighten your seat belt and try to relax.

In the unlikely event that there is a crash, your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device. Honest. It’s holding you up right now, isn’t it? Just trust me on this one. We hope to be through this rough patch in the next half hour. In the meantime, please sit back and enjoy your in-flight movie, Alive.
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