www.inkthinkerblog.com — This week, an organization that I absolutely love and have spoken for many times invited me to put on a workshop for them. Flattering, of course, but also frustrating. It’s a great group and I get a lot out of presenting and attending their presentations, but I frankly cannot afford to give my time away the way I have been the last couple of years. So what do to?
I took a couple of deep breaths, turned to three trusted tact gurus for some input, and told the group that I would be delighted to help them and since I am out of volunteer time, I would be happy to give them a major discount on my regular speaking fee in light of our long-term relationship. Sounds good, right? Well, I thought so, but I guess when you’re used to having all of your speakers come in for free and don’t really have a budget, any amount of money is too much. Which is a shame, really, especially when you’re a member organization.
The end result, as of now, anyway, is that I had to decline. I’m hopeful that something will change for them, but I just can’t do it for nothing. And yes, I’m the first person to say that the exposure and the authority are very valuable, but unfortunately exposure and authority aren’t paying my bills right now.
This may be selfish, but I think a big part of volunteering your time is having more respect for yourself afterward. When you get to a position where you have less respect for yourself as a result of your time contribution, that’s when you need to draw the line. And that’s where I am right now. I’m going to limit myself to one freebie per organization I belong to and everything else paid.
It’s hard to say no, especially when I would really like to do it, but if I don’t set the boundaries now, I’m going to be miserable later. Besides, I’m totally worth paying for.
So who wants to hire me as a speaker? ;]
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Good for you. When my daughter was a new interpreting grad with big student loans, every church and para-church group in 3 counties wanted to book all of her spare time for zip. And when she respectfully declined, explaining that God expected her to be a good steward to her lenders, they got very huffy and put a big guilt trip on her about not trusting God to take care of her loans if she did His work for free. This mentality is everywhere, but it hurts more when it comes from people you are expecting to understand your circumstances.
Wow, I find that so offensive. Religion is not a tool to use to manipulate people into doing what you want. Yeesh.
Good for your daughter for standing up for herself and saying a polite but firm no!
Congratulations on a tough decision. Been there. You’re absolutely correct to set boundaries, and I like your formula. It’s similar to mine in that I set aside a certain amount of time for probono work (or choose a certain organization that will receive probono work) and then anything beyond that has to be paid work. It will work out in the long haul.
Good for you! Setting boundaries sounds easy but is SO much harder than you ever expect… don’t you think?
And, Deb, that is awful about what the churches told your daughter. I agree — religion should NOT be used to manipulate, particularly to manipulate one of their own!
It certainly can be difficult to say no, especially to an organization you respect, but I’m glad you were able to do it.
I’ve been in a similar situation. When I first started working from home, I had a lot more time and really enjoyed volunteering. Most of the volunteer work I did was as a sign language interpreter. Slowly over the past three years, I’ve had to cut down on the amount of time I’m able to give. It’s either that or stay up all night writing to get my bills paid.
Saying no is difficult, and it doesn’t always go over well, but it’s definitely necessary sometimes.
You TOTALLY did the right thing! I’ve learned the hard way that nobody will respect you or your life’s work unless and until YOU learn to stand up for yourself and demand (in a kind way) what you’re worth. Good for you Kristen!