by Jennifer Gomoll
www.inkthinkerblog.com — It’s been said that brevity is the soul of wit. If you agree, writing one-liners may be the freelance opportunity for you.
Nearly every mall, card outlet, and gift shop sells novelties. Whether in-your-face buttons or get-off-my-butt bumper stickers, these items make people laugh. In many cases, they also make money — for freelancers. One-liners tend to go for at least $50, so if you have a quick wit, find out where the opportunities are! You can start by going to the stores that sell funny items, and check out the company names printed on the ones you like. Use a search engine to find them online, as well as other freelancer-friendly novelty companies. Don’t forget to look for t-shirt companies; snarky slogans printed across rebellious chests are big business these days.
If there aren’t any writer’s guidelines on a company’s website, write or email a request for them. Request a catalog, if one isn’t available for download online. Study each company’s needs carefully. What topics do they cover? Is the humor racy or “clean”? What kind of people buy their stuff? Which subjects have been done to death, and which might they like to see more of?
If you’re having trouble drafting slogans, try one of these five basic formulas. (These sample one-liners may not be all that hilarious, but you’ll get the idea.)
1. What’s bad / what’s good. Here’s where you turn a frown upside down. For example: “Broke but happy.” “I sold my soul but I got a great trade-in.”
2. Start with a cliche, end with a twist. Think of something you’ve heard a million times before, then warp it, such as: “He who laughs, lasts.”
3. Define a word. Write something you won’t find in Webster’s dictionary: “Chocolate: nature’s Prozac.”
4. Short description. Who is the t-shirt or button wearer? What words define him or her? “Drama Queen.” “Geek Goddess.” “Whipping Boy.”
5. Snide response. You want to say “Back off, Bucko!” to that guy at the bar who won’t stop pestering you. Someone’s in your face about your lifestyle choices. Politics got you down. What do you want to say? “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.” “My sign? It’s STOP.” “Nice rant, Geraldo.”
Don’t be surprised if it takes a while for good ones to come to you. Sometimes it helps to simply start writing a list of topics until one grabs you. This is only the first draft stage, so don’t worry too much about the wording or “flow” of your slogans. Get the general ideas out on paper first. If they sound awkward, re-word them several different ways. Put them aside. Later, read them again and decide whether your ideas need more work.
A few things to remember: a button, sticker, or t-shirt is meant to be read and understood in a matter of seconds. Keep it brief. Read your slogan out loud. Does it sound smooth or clunky? If you saw it at a shop, would you plunk down money for it? Get feedback from friends and writing buddies, preferably ones who have a sense of humor that differs from yours. What do they think? Remember, timeliness is an issue. Do you think your slogan will still be relevant a year from now? If it sounds like something you may have heard before, run your slogan through a search engine. It’s already on a t-shirt? Darn! Try again.
When you have a list of your best one-liners ready, it’s time to send them out. In what format should you submit? Ask the company. Whether they want an email, hardcopy list, or (ugh) an individual index card for each idea, that’s what you must do, else risk instant rejection. Sticklers!
Sent out your slogans? Good. Time to play the waiting game. Twiddle your thumbs, or write more funnies: just be prepared to wait months for a response. If the acquisitions editor likes one or more of your ideas, the company will usually test market with its vendors. This means that shop owners and others who buy novelties to sell will read the slogans and give them a yea or a nay. Enough yeas, and your check will be in the mail. Nays, and a rejection slip is coming your way. Don’t feel too bad if it does; novelty companies use very few of the thousands of ideas they receive each year. Not to worry; rejection is a good topic for writing more one-liners!
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Jennifer Gomoll is a freelance writer from Chicago. She has sold work to a variety of novelty companies, greeting card publishers, magazines and websites, and currently writes reviews for NewPages.com.
Although this article was published by Kristen King, the original author retains all copyright and should be contacted for reprint requests.
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