It’s Not You, It’s Me(me): 9 Tips for Making Your Blog Suck

Make Your Blog Suck With These 9 Tipswww.inkthinkerblog.com — Katharine Swan tagged me for a fun anti-blogging meme. Here’s my blogging advice guaranteed to make readers hate you and your blog.

  1. Use lots of cool online abbreviations. Bc when u wrt lk ths IDK WTF ur tklng abt if im nt rly awsm lk u LOL. (Translation: Because when you write like this I don’t know what the [expletive deleted] you’re talking about if I’m not really awesome like you, LOL.)
  2. Avoid correct punctuation, spelling and capitalization. because hey it’s just a blog and its nto like anyone like clients or readers or anyone sele important might see it and think your an idiot you dont need to worry about stuff like that becuase they know your really smart anywayt and its just because your typing on a blog and its not really paying work.
  3. Inject sweeping racial/religious/political beliefs into every post. Make a point of using vast generalizations to characterize leaders of other racial/religious/political groups. Insert slurs and offensive slang into your writing whenever possible. Make your blog your platform.
  4. Post lengthy rants about complicated situations that you don’t actually explain. Leave out the details and pitch an utterly baffling hissy fit that makes no sense to anyone but you because you’re too cheap to shell out money for the therapy you so desperately need. Also follow Nos. 1-3. And I’m not talking about doing what Writing Frump does or something like the Ivan situation where you get all the details except the names. I’m talking about a 3000-word diatribe about a guy with a face who says a thing about a thing and where does he get OFF?
  5. Steal content from other bloggers. Take entire posts. Don’t link back to the original bloggers. When someone calls you out on it, get mad at them and bash them publicly on your blog. Do the same for copyrighted images.
  6. Eviscerate commenters who disagree with you. Call them mean names. Question their sexuality. Bust out your best material from No. 3.
  7. Add new material only sporadically. Don’t post for months at a time. Do so consistently.
  8. Give too much personal information. About your sex life, your marriage, your constipation, that boil on your thigh, your relationship with your estranged cousin, whatever. Make people uncomfortable, particularly people who know you in real life.
  9. Use your blog as a place to air your grievances against other bloggers. Treat it like the sixth grade lunch room as much as possible.

I’m tagging Darren at Problogger, Brian at Copyblogger, Chris Garrett, and Liz Strauss at Successful Blog.

Contents Copyright © 2006-2014 Kristen King

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Client Plug: George Jansen’s The Fade-away Receives Rave Review

www.inkthinkerblog.com — George Jansen’s second novel, The Fade-away, was released in June by Pocol Press (which, admittedly, has a pretty crappy website) and has already received a positively glowing review from The Hardball Times, excerpted in part below:

It’s likely you’ve never heard of George Jansen. This is just his second novel, and it’s published by a small house. You probably won’t find a big stack of copies at your local Barnes & Noble. You’ll probably have to seek this one out online.

Take my advice: Do so. Your effort will be more than amply rewarded. This is a flawless book, every bit as richly wrought as such classics of the genre as Eric Rolfe Greenberg’s The Celebrant and Harry Stein’s Hoopla, yet a quicker, funnier read than either of those. The Fade-away is something very special.

It’s worth reading the whole review, but you can get the gist of it from that. I might be biased, since I edited it and all, but I think both this and his first book, The Jesse James Scrapbook, published by Hilliard & Harris in 2003, are outstanding and absolutely worth picking up. Visit his website to learn more about George and Jesse James, and of course the most recent book.

Contents Copyright © 2006-2014 Kristen King

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Exciting but Vague Announcement

www.inkthinkerblog.com — A client for whom I did a detailed fiction edit/critique on an amazing book e-mailed me on Monday that she’s received an offer of representation from a very well-respected agent who is in love with with the manuscript. Yippee!

Contents Copyright © 2006-2014 Kristen King

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Jeff Fisher Is Having an Identity Crisis (but in a good way)

24 September 2007
For immediate release
Identity Crisis! 50 Redesigns That Transformed Stale Identities Into Successful Brands, by Jeff Fisher

Jeff Fisher Is Having an Identity Crisis!

www.inkthinkerblog.com

Identity Crisis! 50 Redesigns That Transformed Stale Identities Into Successful Brands, the new book from Jeff Fisher, the Engineer of Creative Identity for the Portland-based design firm Jeff Fisher LogoMotives, has been released by publisher HOW Books, an imprint of F+W Publications, Inc. The book is currently available from all major online booksellers and will soon be on bookstore shelves internationally.

Identity Crisis! takes a fresh look at 50 before and after case studies, from designers and firms from around the world, by exploring the process of redesigning existing identities to help businesses refine their image, communicate with customers, and find success. Designers seeking inspiration – and any business considering a graphic makeover – will be presented an inside look at the challenges of redesigning identities and visual examples of creative and strategic thinking in achieving the desired results.

Jack Anderson, of the Seattle firm Hornall Anderson Design Works wrote the foreword for Identity Crisis! “Words of Wisdom,” throughout the book, were provided by Sean Adams/AdamsMorika, Inc, Bob Domenz/Avenue, Tony Spaeth/Identityworks, Debbie Millman/Sterling Brands, Jack Yan/Jack Yan & Associates, design educator and author Robin Landa, Robynne Raye/Modern Dog Design Co., Mark E. Sackett/Reflectur, and the author.

Case studies presented in the volume include projects from the following firms: 3 Dogz Creative Inc. (Toronto, ONT, Canada), Advertising By Design (Clermont, FL USA), angryporcupine*design (Park City, UT USA), Avenue (Chicago, IL USA), b-design (San Diego, CA USA), biz-R (Totnes, Devon, UK), Brainforest, Inc. (Chicago, IL USA), Breathewords (Caldas da Rainha, Portugal), CC Graphic Design (Salt Lake City, UT USA), Common Sense Design (New Hamburg, ONT Canada), Connacher Design (Stamford, CT USA), Finamore Design (Brooklyn, NY USA), Fullblast, Inc. (Portland, OR USA), Glitschka Studios (Salem, OR USA), Graphicwise, Inc. (Irvine, CA USA), Hornall Anderson Design Works (Seattle, WA USA), and Identityworks (Rye, NY USA).

Other firms represented include: Jeff Fisher LogoMotives (Portland, OR USA), John Silver Design Bothell, WA (USA), MasonBaronet (Dallas, TX USA), Mayhem Studios (Los Angeles, CA USA), Modern Dog Design Co. (Seattle, WA USA), MyBrand (Lisbon, Portugal), nHarmony, Inc. (Muncie, IN USA), Octavo Designs (Frederick, MD USA), Paragon Integrated Marketing Communications (Salmiya, Kuwait), RDQ – Rdqlus Design Quantum (Omaha, NE USA), Round2 Communications – R2i (Baltimore, MD USA), Sayles Graphic Design (Des Moines, IA USA), Shapiro Design Associates Inc. (Irvington, NY USA), Shine Advertising Co. (Madison, WI USA), Sockeye Creative (Portland, OR USA), Studio GT&P (Foligno, PG Italy), Subplot Design Inc. (Vancouver, BC Canada), and Willoughby Design Group (Kansas City, MO USA).

Title: Identity Crisis! 50 Redesigns That Transformed Stale Identities Into Successful Brands
Hardbound: 216 pages
Publisher: HOW Books, an imprint of F+W Publications
Release: September 2007
ISBN: 1581809395
Price: $35.00

For more information, visit www.identitycrisisbook.blogspot.com. A downloadable PDF file of some teaser spreads is also available on the blog of the publisher at www.howdesign.com/blog/Identity+Crisis.aspx.

About the Author

Jeff Fisher has received nearly 575 regional, national and international graphic design awards for his logo and corporate identity efforts. His work is featured in nearly 100 books on the design of logos, the business of graphic design, design education, and small business marketing. In addition, Fisher also writes for CreativeLatitude.com, HOW Magazine and other design resources; and speaks about the design profession to high school classes, college students, and at international design industry events.

Fisher is a member of the HOW Magazine Editorial Advisory Board, the HOW Design Conference Advisory Council and the UCDA Designer Magazine Editorial Advisory Board. His first book, The Savvy Designer’s Guide to Success, was released by HOW Design Books in late 2004.

Contents Copyright © 2006-2014 Kristen King

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Two More Blogs for Writers

www.inkthinkerblog.com — I found The Young Writers Society Blog today when they linked to my review of Writing Frump (one post back), and then they turned me on to Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog. YWSB is full of great links, commentary, and quotes for writers of all ages, and it’s going to be on my list of places to visit almost daily. GCHB is hilarious, but one can handle only so much Middle English in one sitting. After my brilliant and demanding Courtly Tradition professor (and advisor) in undergrad made me memorize the first 18 lines of Canterbury Tales with correct Middle English pronunciation (which, mercifully, I have mostly forgotten save for a few lines that I can remember only if I, get this, work my way into the with the opening lines of “The Jabberwocky“), I’d had my fill. But today’s current events from Chaucer’s POV is too funny to miss.

What other brilliant writing blogs have I been missing lately? Leave your recommendations in the comments, and don’t forget to provide the link!

Contents Copyright © 2006-2014 Kristen King

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